Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
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I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
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I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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