I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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