i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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