I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
