I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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