dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
