i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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