Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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