I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
