i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize