Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
