I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
