so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
