and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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