We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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