So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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