This girl is more easily done than said...
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize