The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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