Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
