He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Are we still banned from the library?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
