I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
