I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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