you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
