Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
