Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Randomize
