Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
