Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
