Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
