Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
