singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
