This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
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