I puked a lego.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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