i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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