I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
God, you're like boner-b-gone
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
