it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize