im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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