it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
