Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
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Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
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i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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