If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize