operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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