Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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