If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize