Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
