i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Pants are for mortals
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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