I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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