Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
