u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
