My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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