You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
