Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Randomize
