no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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