About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
