dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I need to sanitize my soul.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
