I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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