If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
